yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
