none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize