the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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