dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
