haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize