when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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