Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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