He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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