When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize