are you so shy because you have an std?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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