My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
