I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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