puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
