I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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