ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
