Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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