it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
