Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
