My girlfriend figured out who you are.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
