You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
