i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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