In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
