I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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