Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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