nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize