In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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