U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
In America we eat man semen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
