remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
