so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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