we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
