The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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