You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
