You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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