My sheets look like a crime scene.
She said her name was "party"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
