Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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