if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
