I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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