Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
