That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
