i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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