There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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