So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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