So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
