Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
