I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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