Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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