Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
