somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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