people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
3pm strippers are depressing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize