BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
