I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
