so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
