I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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