Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
