I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize