Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize