I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
