My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize