fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
