seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
