I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
