He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
