I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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