I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
