I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
