You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
