We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
