I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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