I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
